There Was No Secret Evil-Fighting Organization (srsly?!), So I Made One MYSELF!
世界の闇と戦う秘密結社が無いから作った（半ギレ）

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Chapter 3: The Warp In the Space-Time Continuum Caused By the Abrupt Explosion of Love Particles in the Air

Volume 6: Assailant from the Future

Shiori tried to dissuade Ruu-denka after she made a statement explosive enough to blow up the entire venue, but I dissuaded Shiori from dissuading Ruu-denka.

Who he liked was Shouta-kun’s decision to make.

The aim of our secret organization was to introduce excitement to our members’ otherwise painfully normal lives; we were not here to control them.

Would the popular Shouta-kun choose Touka-chan as we had expected all along or would he choose the interloper, Ruu-denka? This was not something for those of us on the sidelines to meddle in. No, the three who were involved had to handle this on their own.

We had orchestrated so many events so far that it was perhaps starting to give us a propensity for controlling everything.

Even if we had the power to make everything go the way we want, we must not use it to make everything go the way we want. We must not forget our roots. We must not lose ourselves to our power.

When I said all this to Shiori, she came to a start and nodded deeply.

Ruu-denka immediately returned to Ama-no-Iwato through the warp gate and headed straight for Shouta-kun’s house. The two of us saw her off, then climbed up the stairs to my living area. When I took out my video camera, Shiori gave me a look.

“Right after you said all those cool lines…”

“What? You want to watch the catfight too, don’t you?”

“I mean, I do.”

So honest!

However, Shiori did not seem entirely enthusiastic. She continued staring at me as I sat on the edge of my bed and floated the camera to the shooting location. What is it?

“Kinemitsu-san, you have something on your cheek here.”

“Hm? Here?”

“Not there. Oh, I’ll do it for you.”

When I innocently got up and walked over in response to Shiori’s beckon, she suddenly grabbed me and pulled me on top of herself on the bed. I looked down and found Shiori’s cheeks as red as a tomato.

Oh my god, that’s cute.

Even I can catch the message when it’s this obvious.

She has a point. Having just gotten married, this isn’t the time to poke our noses in someone else’s love affairs.

There is something much more important for us to do.

I reached out with a shaking hand to undo the buttons on Shiori’s dress.

◇ ◇ ◇

I slowly woke up with the sun shining on my face. When I turned over in bed with my eyes still closed, my hand fell on something soft that felt absolutely wonderful to massage.

The fog over my mind gradually cleared up as I continued my groping.

Ah, that’s right. Yesterday, I married Kabu— Shiori… Then we returned to Ama-no-Iwato…

Hold on. What am I touching now?

“Whoa!”

When I abruptly shouted and sat up in bed, Ig fell out of my hand onto the bed and raised its voice in objection.

“Chichichichichi!”

“Oh… Yeah, good morning to you.”

“Good morning, Kinemitsu-san. What’s wrong?”

Shiori, who had been sleeping next to me, sat up while rubbing her eyes sleepily and drawing the blanket to herself to hide her naked form.

That. Is. Fucking. Sexy.

Why’re you doing that?! Put something on! Now I can’t get out of bed!

I tried to look away, but my head just wouldn’t listen to me. Shiori grinned cheekily at me, but soon put on my tracksuit and went out for her daily morning run. I seriously admire her tenacity in doing what she thinks needs doing no matter what. I suppose this is how she maintains her perfect bodily proportions.

While waiting for my waifu to come home, I fed Ig, made breakfast, and turned on the TV. The weather report came on as usual, followed by the usual horoscope reading.

Even when the world of one person— no, two people undergo an upheaval, society as a whole continues chugging along. We were but tiny cogs in the great mechanism that was the world. However, even we tiny cogs had our place in helping the world move… and that’s about enough of this.

I should dial down the “suddenly talking like I know shit because I got married” thing. Might get annoying fast.

Shiori got back, took a shower, put on her makeup, then came to the breakfast table. I re-warmed everything that had gone cold because I made it too early and we discussed what we were going to do going forward while eating. Ig insistently tried to spill milk over Shiori, so I gave her a few figs — the food that she had recently developed an obsession with — to make her settle down.

“Ig, stop bothering Shiori, okay? Good. So, we’re continuing the secret organization, right?”

“Of course. I’m hoping we can fit in two or three events before the two students get busy with their exams.”

“Will we be watching the love triangle?”

“That too, of course.”

Shouta-kun and Touka-chan were fighting against the World Shadows as members of our secret organization, but they could hardly be expected to keep fighting for the rest of their lives.

At the end of the day, Shiori and I were still only orchestrating a farce. It was meant to add color and excitement to the members’ lives, no more and no less. It was by no means something for them to dedicate their lives to.

Mikyou-chan could still stay with us for quite a while, but it was about time to find a good way for Shouta-kun and Touka-chan to graduate and enter society properly, turning their memories of these turbulent days into mere nostalgia.

Both of them intended on going to college, but they had yet to decide which one to apply to. Most of the activities related to the organization had been kept within the Tokyo metropolitan area so far for the sake of ease of access, but this could become difficult to maintain depending on where they enrolled (even with warp gate technology). More importantly, if they failed their entrance exams and had to delay their enrollment by a year, keeping up with the secret organization would be the least of their worries.

Of course, they could also decide to give up going to college and seek employment instead. In that case, they would still have a lot to handle, with it being their first year as a working adult. Either way, their time and attention would be drawn towards many other things beside Amaterasu.

In any case, Touka-chan and Shouta-kun (and Chris too) would be entering their final year of high school. This year was going to be critical for them.

To sum up my discussion with Shiori, I would focus on videotaping the development of the love triangle while Shiori prepared for our next event. It was a reasonable division of roles.

After considering several options for what we would be doing for the next event, we settled on one where someone visits from the future. This would be the second time that Amaterasu clashes (is made to clash) with Tsukuyomi.

The general rundown would be:

1. The daughter between Shiori and me comes to the past using a time machine(-like piece of junk) to curtail a future calamity.
2. Our daughter needs the help of Amaterasu members to identify the cause of the calamity and eliminate it.
3. Once done, our daughter tries to return to the future, but the time machine(-like piece of junk) gets stolen by Tsukuyomi.
4. Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi fight over the time machine(-like piece of junk).
5. Our daughter somehow manages to return to the future in the end.

I was leaving the finer details to Shiori. All we had decided for now was that Shiori would be the one playing the role of our daughter.

No one would be able to tell when she put on makeup and changed her voice. She was an absolute pro at both of those things.

It only made sense for a daughter to be similar to her mother in mannerisms, and her face looking similar to Shiori’s could be explained with plastic surgery.

Of course, since Shiori would be playing the role of our daughter, the two could not be in the same place at the same time. However, if we kept the event short enough, we could end it before anyone thought it suspicious.

Without further ado, we got to work.

Shiori occupied herself with preparing for the event as I kept an eye on Shouta-kun, Touka-chan, and Ruu-denka. That, and moved into the Sago residence (formerly Kaburagi residence).

While submitting the marriage registration form, I had also submitted a registration to change my address to Shiori’s place. However, now I had commute time, and I just couldn’t help but feel it was a waste. Would it be too lazy of me to install a warp gate connecting the mansion and Ama-no-Iwato?

Sadly, because I was occupied with my moving and filming duties while Shiori was so busy she rarely came home, we only ever saw each other at night despite being newlyweds.

A-Are we… in a rut?

I mean, I understand that we’re both too busy to flirt, having so much to prepare and do. Perhaps we had rushed into arranging a new event a bit too soon after the marriage and should have taken things a bit slower. Then again, it’s also true that we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives and so we’ve all the time in the world. I feel sort of torn between the two ways of seeing it.

In contrast to the distance between Shiori and me, Ruu-denka kept on bumping into Shouta-kun, and this was really getting onto Touka-chan’s nerves.

Taking advantage of the fact that Shouta-kun was now on winter break and had lots of free time, Ruu-denka was all over him from morning to night. She played video games with him, followed him when he headed out to fight World Shadows (to cheer him on from the sidelines), made rolled eggs for him, and even tried to sleep in his room.

In addition to the passionate advances, she also repeatedly told him, “I love you!” Alas, for the first few days, Shouta-kun actually did not understand the line due to her native English pronunciation. So he’s the type of protagonist with conveniently bad hearing, I see.

For his part, Shouta-kun did not look entirely displeased with the attention. Whenever Denka was talking with him, he just stared at her chest, and she did not mind. Touka-chan did, however. The sight of him acting this way really irritated her.

Shouta-kun and Touka-chan had been going out ever since a while ago. It only made sense for her to get angry seeing her boyfriend being all smitten with another girl.

Touka-chan looked for various reasons to get Denka away from Shouta-kun. However, Denka was not capable of reading between the lines. Japanese was a foreign language to Denka, and Touka-chan’s English had an accent, making it even harder to get messages across.

Denka was a very accommodating person, so if Touka-chan told her straight, “Don’t come near my boyfriend!” she would probably get it.

However, Touka-chan was not Shiori. She did not have the courage to be that direct.

This is how the love triangle came to be. The three of them basically lived out a full-on romcom over the winter break.

Although Denka’s power was only enough to match a dry battery in output, on paper she was the head of the Marineland branch of Amaterasu. And so she also got to meet up with the other Amaterasu members.

Shige-jii, who normally bragged about being able to speak eight languages, sweated bullets when he found himself being talked to in a torrent of English. However, the compatibility between him and Denka was not too bad.

After all, Denka was so gullible that she acknowledged it herself. When Shige-jii lied and said, “I’m so old my ears can’t hear English properly” and “My throat hurts so I can’t pronounce English properly,” she believed him and actually worried about him.

The guilt that racked him from seeing Denka believing his lies so easily prompted Shige-jii to start cramming English at home. If instigated properly, I could see him actually mastering eight languages one day.

Because she felt like her grandpa had been taken away, Mikyou-chan was constantly snide with Denka.

However, it was ineffective!

Sarcasm didn’t work on Denka!

Mikyou-chan pulled out her dictionary and did her best to come up with the worst insults she could, but her shoddy English backfired on her — Ruu-denka patiently helped correct her grammar and pronunciation, completely unaware that the lines were directed at herself.

Mikyou-chan took this as Denka making fun of her English and humiliating her. She threw her Japanese-English dictionary at the other girl and ran off, her face red as a tomato. After that, Mikyou-chan never dared to come near Denka again.

Pity, because Denka actually likes her… But then again, Denka likes everyone she meets.

When Ruu-denka asked Touka-chan to introduce her to a store selling wedding rings, Touka-chan finally snapped and shouted, “Shouta is MINE! I won’t give him to you!” Consequently, Denka returned to her country, her heart broken. She basically stirred things up as much as humanly possible and then just went home.

With the typhoon gone, I had expected the relationship between Shouta-kun and Touka-chan to return to normal, but instead, Touka-chan started getting restless whenever hanging out around Shouta-kun. Did Denka leave behind a whole bunch of love particles in the air?

The situation had come to an end quicker than I had expected, but it was fine the way it was.

At the same time Ruu-denka withdrew her assault, winter break ended and Shiori finished her preparations for the coming event.

The footage we had of espers was growing, and we were actively still adding to the collection.

It was now time for the Assailant from the Future event!

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Footnotes

Wow, such empty.