There Was No Secret Evil-Fighting Organization (srsly?!), So I Made One MYSELF!
世界の闇と戦う秘密結社が無いから作った（半ギレ）

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Chapter 9: The Pursuit of Yuri Transcends Time and Space

Volume 6: Assailant from the Future

          Shiori confessed quite readily. “Rin came almost right after we started preparing for the event. She said she wanted to surprise you, so I altered the script a little to give her a part. That’s the long and short of it.”

          “So that’s why you were avoiding me…”

          “Mh-hm. I was teaching Rin the common sense of our time and working out the details of the plan while trying to keep everything a secret from you.”

          What a relief. So it wasn’t because she was getting tired of me. Ah, if Rin-chan had arrived before we kicked off the event, that means it was actually her in every scene I thought was Shiori in disguise. That sure is confus— Hold on.

          “Why does she look so much like you?”

          “Apparently there’s a future member who can pull off Hollywood-level special effects makeup.”

          So it wasn’t plastic surgery. It sure would be something if both mother and daughter had gone all the way down that hole. Not that I have anything against it. Hmm, so she’s using makeup to look like her mom. I wonder if she ever considered looking like her dad?

          “How did she come to the past?”

          “The explanation includes a really deep dive into the theory of space-time. But if I’m to really, really simplify it, the moment we married, it raised the probability of Rin’s birth above a certain threshold, and that’s what allowed her to come. Of course, Baba-san’s time machine has nothing to do with it. It really is just a meaningless mess of wires and parts. Though I heard it was Baba-san who instigated Rin into coming to the past.”

          “Ha ha. That old bag sure likes surprises.”

          Then again, Baba’s home had the custom of giving each other surprises despite their rather undeveloped subculture, so I guess it’s not so much her liking surprises as her using a familiar trick.

          HOLD ON, I just realized something: If time travel from the future is possible, doesn’t that mean REAL time travelers besides Rin are actually in our midst?! Hell fucking yes!

          However, Shiori immediately nipped my expectations in the bud. “I know what you’re thinking, Kinemitsu-san, but no. Time travel requires energy equal to the total mass of an entire universe. Generating that amount of energy is difficult, and being able to withstand all that energy is also difficult. Put simply, that amount of energy can only come from you, and the only people able to withstand telekinetic energy of such astronomical scale would be your children. Additionally, only someone with a time-related power can time travel. Put together, that means there are no time travelers other than Rin. Also—”

          Shiori went on to give her best attempt to break down time-space theory beyond the current level of understanding in our time. What I took from it was that only Rin could travel into the past, and she could only do it once. If she ever tried again, her body would break down into elementary particles and create a massive explosion of radioactive rays. So yeah, only once.

          As it turned out, Rin-chan could do whatever she wanted in our time and it wouldn’t create time distortions, time paradoxes, or the like. She didn’t even have to return to the future if she didn’t want to. In fact, she could even watch her own birth, and future Rin could play house with baby Rin and there’d be no problems. The only thing is, the future would change.

          For example, if Rin-chan was to destroy the Great Pyramid of Giza and then return to the future, it’d be like, “A mysterious high school girl once destroyed the pyramids. Speaking of, she looked a lot like you, Rin.” Due to having a time-related superpower, Rin (and Shiori) wouldn’t be affected by changes to the past. So, they would retain memory of the original timeline where the pyramids weren’t destroyed, but the memories of all other beings and all records — newspapers, internet, everything — would be overwritten.

          Basically, the explanation we gave the Amaterasu members at the start of the event turned out to be pretty spot-on.

          Most importantly, I didn’t actually turn to the dark side in the future, and I didn’t erase half the world’s population. When I asked what Amaterasu was like in the future, Rin-chan refused to answer. In her words, “Both Dad and Mom are the kind of people who avoid spoilers and walkthrough sites when playing a game for the first time, right?” I was really touched by how well she knew us.

          But well, now I know: I’m going to be led around the nose by both my wife and daughter in the future too. But I’m fine with it. All I care about is that they’re happy!

          Now then.

          The fact that the character from the future actually was from the future didn’t really change much for the plan, so we were going to just continue. At least, that was my intention until Rin-chan stuck her head into the area behind the counter where Shiori and I were talking.

          With a listless face, she pleaded in a whisper, “Dad, Mom, can you postpone the Tsukuyomi fight? I’m tired. Can I just rest tomorrow?”

          “It looks like Shouta-kun is quite spent too, so I also think it’s a good idea.” Shiori turned to me. “Kinemitsu-san, can you ask Baba-san to keep Tsukuyomi back for a day?”

          “Sure thing,” I nodded.

          What with Rin-chan’s own appearance, Kuma-san’s fight nearly to the death, the Amaterasu vs. Tsukuyomi showdown, and the Antarctica expedition, tonight really had been quite eventful indeed. She deserved much more than a day’s rest.

          While I was on the phone with Baba, Shiori returned to the floor of the bar and let everyone know they were free to go home. Rin-chan rummaged through our drawers and pulled out towels and Shiori’s underwear.

          Eventually, everyone left. After Shiori locked the door, Rin-chan approached her and handed her a basket of toiletries. “Here you go, Mom. You’re taking a bath, right?”

          Shiori ruffled her hair. “I am, yes.”

          I looked up. “Oh, you’re both staying over?”

          Did we have bedding for three people? Ah, I’ll need to put away the kotatsu to make enough space to lay it all out. The living area here at Ama-no-Iwato isn’t small, but it was designed for only one inhabitant. It’s gonna be a bit cramped for three people to lie side by side.

          As I was considering sleeping on the couch, Rin-chan handed me toiletries too. “Here’s yours, Dad.”

          “Huh?” I gave her a puzzled look.

          She looked up at me innocently. “You’re bathing too, right?”

          I mean, I don’t want to say no to her, but you’re aware that you’re high school age, right? It’s a completely different thing from taking a bath with a child in pre-school or kindergarten. There’s no way this is okay. Just how have you been raising her, future me?!

          I was desperately trying to find the right words to turn Rin-chan down without hurting her feelings when Shiori came over and poked her cheek chidingly.

          “That’s not happening, honey. Only Mom is allowed to take a bath with Dad.”

          “Th-There it is! There is Mom’s sky-high possessiveness!”

          “That’s right, I’m possessive. That’s why I’m going to keep my cute daughter all to myself too. You’re not getting away!”

          Before Rin-chan could react, Shiori lifted her in a princess carry and headed straight to the bathroom. When she passed me, she gave me a wink.

          “Wai— Mom! I can walk by myse— Mom, I’m sorry! Mom!”

          As Rin-chan’s embarrassed squeals faded around the corner, I heaved a sigh of relief.

          Shiori really is good at handling people. It takes me all I have just to take care of a common marmoset.

◆ ◆ ◆

          The next day, the students had school, but only Touka-chan attended. Mikyou-chan was still exhausted from the expedition to the South Pole, so she stayed home just to be safe. Shouta-kun was nowhere to be found, but there was a note that read, “I need to campfire. Don’t look for me.” He was someone who turned to fire regardless of whether he was tired or not. I honestly couldn’t comprehend his penchant for doing so whenever anything happened.

          As for Tsukuyomi, they had shifted into defense mode as a result of Baba telling them “Amaterasu might be coming to steal stuff other than the time machine.” Consequently, they were making sure their members were safe, hiding records of their tax evasion, and checking on their hidden assets. In short, they were too busy to make a move on us. This explained why Chris didn’t go to school either. Not that it was all that out of the norm — she had always been a a delinquent ninja who skipped school whenever she felt like it.

          Rin-chan was enjoying herself to the fullest. When school was over, she fetched Touka-chan and went to hang out at Mikyou-chan’s house and play horror games. The first one they picked up had the player running away from a murderer, and Touka-chan got so scared she clung to Mikyou-chan. Next, they switched to a zombie game, and it became Mikyou-chan’s turn to be scared. Touka-chan got a chance to regain her dignity as the older friend as she relentlessly chased down zombies and helped them enter Nirvana (ie. beat them to a pulp).

          The sight of the two of them playing had Rin-chan all smiles. It wasn’t like I didn’t understand; anyone would have fun watching older people in their lives when they were young and full of life. I myself would jump at an opportunity to see Kuma-san in a school uniform hitting up a game arcade and making a beeline for, say, the Space Invaders machine.

          Rin-chan claimed to be in high school, but I didn’t ask her exact age. Assuming that she was now sixteen, this was at least seventeen years ago for her. In her time, Touka-chan and Mikyou-chan would both be in their forties. In other words, Rin-chan was doing the equivalent of watching a woman in her forties playing a retro game in her youth and grinning at the spectacle. She certainly has interesting taste.

          Oh, and also, even though Mikyou-chan thought Rin-chan unbearable at the start, the two managed to break the ice when playing together.

◆ ◆ ◆

          Another day passed, making this the third day since Rin-chan’s arrival.

          When someone used their superpower source to its limit, they would suffer incredible growth pains the next day. The day after that, however, their source would have recovered fully and even gotten stronger than before.

          Rin-chan also went through this and therefore was all better now, but she said she wanted to play some more before fighting Tsukuyomi again and going home. Of course, Shiori and I said yes. After all, we were in no hurry to finish the event. Tsukuyomi was still frightened at what Baba said, and Shouta-kun was still cooped up on some mountain peering into his own soul through the flames of a campfire or something. We basically decided that we’ll wait for him to come back before moving things along.

          The cover story we provided was “When using the time machine, it’s important to ride the correct time flow. In short, we need to wait for the right timing.” When both time-users said and corroborated this, everyone else just had to accept it.

          Today, Rin-chan invited Touka-chan and Mikyou-chan to go shopping after school. The goal was for Touka-chan and Rin-chan, who Shiori often brought to high-class boutiques, to coordinate something for Mikyou-chan, who relied on her mother to choose all her clothes. After much chitchatting and a great time, the three bought matching outfits.

          I didn’t go so far as to monitor them going into the lingerie shop, but I still felt like a pervert following a group of teenage girls with top level looks as they went shopping. When they spent two whole hours picking out skirts, though, I almost died of boredom.

          Hey, I’m the kind of person who spends less than five minutes buying clothes. And when I go to the supermarket to buy cabbage, it takes me less than three seconds to choose the heaviest and densest one. What I’m basically saying is, being able to use telekinesis to weigh things is super convenient, heh.

          When Rin-chan came home all bubbly and carrying tons of bags, I expected her to put her stuff down and get changed. But instead, she handed me everything and said, “Keep these for me until I’m all grown up.” What a thing to say. I didn’t quite understand, but I got the gist. If that’s what Rin-chan wanted, then naturally I would oblige.

          Uh, but what if the cast of the die goes wrong and Rin turns out to be a boy instead? Do I make him crossdress, or… Oh well, no point thinking about it now. For the moment, this is all going into the back of the closet.

          Time passed tranquilly, and the next day came. This was the fourth day since the start of the event. Shouta-kun had yet to return.

          This was getting a bit worrying, so I gave him a call. However, it turned out he had left his phone at home. That was careless, but not particularly alarming in and of itself. However, right next to the phone were the rings that enabled him to summon his battle suit.

          Something was off. There was no reason for him to take off the rings.

          Shouta-kun could of course fight World Shadows without the suit, but the set of two finger rings and two anklets were designed to be worn 24/7. They were lightweight and didn’t cause rashes when rubbing the skin. They were even waterproof, which meant one could take a bath with them on. We did recommend that the students take them off during swimming class to avoid drawing attention, but it was currently winter.

          Since Shouta-kun was not wearing his rings, we couldn’t contact him through the transmitter embedded in them either. We had no way of telling where he was. He had stayed out a few times before, but never more than two nights in a row without prior notice. Understandably, his parents were starting to get worried too.

          This wasn’t the only thing that was off. When I tried to start up the warp gate to check whether Shouta-kun had gone to the magic castle, I found it completely out of fuel. I clearly remembered there was still plenty after the Antarctica excursion.

          Of course, if it was out of fuel, then I could simply refill it. So thinking, I went to Shige-jii’s house to ask him to donate a little blood for the cause, but found it empty. His letterbox was filled with three days’ worth of newspapers and mail.

          This is suspicious. Something’s afoot. This must be someone’s doing. But who? Can’t be Tsukuyomi; Baba’s keeping them on a leash.

          When I returned to Ama-no-Iwato, my chest filled with a sense of unease that I couldn’t put into words, I found Rin-chan and Shiori playing tag using their powers. They were flashing in and out of sight here, there, everywhere. A chair flew in the air as a table got knocked over and a dustpan slid across the floor.

          For a split second, I watched in dazed astonishment, wondering what they were up to. But then Shiori vaulted over the counter and, while trying to pin Rin-chan down with a mop, shouted in a serious tone, “CATCH HER!”

          Next thing I knew, I was also in Shiori’s time bubble. Even though time was stopped, Rin-chan was desperately trying to get away. And she was fast. Precisely, twice as fast as normal. Apparently she could speed up her time even when time was stopped. On the other hand, Shiori was moving at normal speed. She was doing her best to corner Rin-chan by throwing things and circling around.

          The moment Rin-chan spotted me, she begged in a desperate voice, “Let me go!”

          I’ve no idea what’s going on, but first come, first served.

          I used my telekinesis to catch Rin-chan in a gentle but unbreakable hold. Being twice as fast meant nothing to me. “There you go, caught.”

          “Nghhhh!” My daughter struggled in midair, but quickly gave up and let her limbs dangle limply. She apparently knew very well how impossible it was to escape my telekinesis.

          “Thank you,” Shiori huffed. “I would’ve lost her.” She dispelled her power and wiped away her sweat. When she had her breath back, she approached the girl who was averting her eyes, grabbed her face, and forcefully made her return her own gaze.

          “Answer me truthfully: Where is Shouta-kun and Hazama-san?”

          “Wait, what?” My eyes widened in surprise. It was all Rin-chan’s doing? Uh…why?

          “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

          “Really? I can list the evidence one at a time, but for each one I bring up, the heavier your punishment will be. First, the handwriting on Shouta-kun’s note—”

          “Wait, no! Please! I did it! I admit it! You only had to list one thing, so you’ll let me off lightly, right?!”

          The interrogation didn’t last even a full minute!

          As it turned out, Shiori had gotten suspicious, just as I did. She was even a few steps ahead of me and had already figured out who the culprit was. Incredible.

          Ah, but going by process of elimination, I guess it’s pretty obvious that Rin-chan’s the culprit. Then again, maybe I’m thinking this only because I already know who it is.

          Shiori nodded with satisfaction, then continued the questioning. “Well, where is Shouta-kun?”

          “I put him to sleep and arranged for him to be dropped off alone somewhere in the Amazon jungle. I have no idea where he is at the moment.”

          “Wait, wh—” R-Rin-chan? Why’d you… Even espers can die if things go badly!

          “What about Hazama-san?”

          “I put him to sleep and arranged for him to be dropped off alone in a village in the Middle East where no one speaks Japanese. I have no idea where he is at the moment.”

          “Seriously…?” That’s better than Shouta-kun, but only marginally. What did the two of them ever do to you?

          Shiori coldly voiced my question in the tone of a judge. “Why did you do this?”

          “I wanted to draw them away from Mikyou-san and Touka-san.”

          “And why would you do that?”

Realizing she had no way out, Rin-chan confessed sulkily. “I love both Mikyou-san and Touka-san. They’re strong and kind and cool and cute and pretty, and I want to be like them. But they have flaws. Mikyou-san keeps on talking about Hazama-san all the time, and Touka-san went and married Shouta. When I made up my mind to come to the past, a brilliant idea came to me.”

          “Which is…?” I’m not going to like what I hear next, am I?

          Being prompted, Rin-chan gave me a proud grin. “If I remove the negative influences in their lives while young and make them get close to each other, the two of them can marry and it’ll be a happy end for all! I hold the power to change the future in my hand!”

          “…………………………Wait, what?”

          My daughter just dropped a nuclear bomb on us!

TLDR:

Rin-chan: “I want to be a part of a yuri story!”

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Footnotes

Wow, such empty.