There Was No Secret Evil-Fighting Organization (srsly?!), So I Made One MYSELF!
世界の闇と戦う秘密結社が無いから作った(半ギレ)

Chapter 7: You Like This, Right? You Lucky Pervert!

Volume 5: † The Double Wings of Shade †

Back when I was still in high school and innocently entertaining dreams of living out an adolescence filled with superpowered battles, a relatively cute girl in my class, Mizono-sana, got hospitalized.

I don’t remember the specific name of her condition, but it was something related to her organs or whatever and she would die in several years if she did not undergo a difficult surgery that only had a 30-40% chance of success. She was afraid of dying several years later, but she was also afraid of dying if the surgery went sideways. Consequently, she spent quite a while in bed really tearing herself up about it.

 

Many people went to visit her and give encouragement, including her friends in class, the really social kids in school, and the guys who were straight-out interested in her. The most memorable one among them was this guy from the baseball team named Nakamura who went and said “If I win at the Koshien, please take the surgery” as if he was a protagonist in a shonen manga.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who made that correlation, seeing how our entire class flew into an uproar about it. Quite a few showed up at Nakamura’s practice to cheer him on and give him drinks and snacks as encouragement. Someone even appointed themselves his temporary manager or something. When the team eked out a close win at their first game at the regionals, Nakamura became the class hero for a while.

 

But then they lost in the second round of the tournament. Which entirely made sense, considering how much they struggled against a no-name school in the first round.

And then completely unrelated to Nakamura making a fool of himself, Mizono-san was convinced by her parents to take the surgery and it was successful.

 

Later on, when we reunited at our Coming of Age Ceremony1, I learned that Mizono-san was studying medicine at a pretty high-tier university, whereas Nakamura was working part-time at a convenience store. It wasn’t as if they had ever gone out with each other, and neither were they on particularly bad terms.

 

That’s just how reality is.

Reality is cruel like that. Action taken for someone else’s sake could still fail, and the world would still keep on spinning regardless of that failure.

This is not news to anyone.

 

In the same way, Shige-jii’s put-up job had fallen through. We thought it would work. We spent time on it. We prepared a lot. We were doing it for the sake of a sickly little girl. We worked hard. And yet, regardless of everyone, the ploy still fell flat.

And in our case, there was no “doing-over,” and time continued its cruel march with the situation still in the worst state possible.

 

Mikyou-chan, who had seen through Shige-jii’s subterfuge down in the sewers, locked herself up in her hospital room. On the way back from the sewers to the hospital, Shige-jii only managed to coax one sentence out of her and it was “I won’t trust anyone anymore.”

 

Of course she’d think that!

I’m so sorry!!

No, really — I’m so very sorry!

 

Of course, only Mikyou-chan knew what state of mind she was in, but it wasn’t hard to imagine the despair she was feeling. It was practically “Even me, despite how hopeless I am, can gain a superpower like I’ve always dreamed of!” straight to “Everything was a lie.” Absolutely brutal. The drop from hope to despair was so great that the impact was enough to devastate anyone.

 

This is what happens when you try to play with someone’s heart. Nothing good comes out of it.

Was the reason for our failure because we had underestimated Mikyou-chan, thinking her nothing more than a naive and sheltered squirt of a girl who was still only in middle school? Or was it because our guys had terrible acting chops and sucked at ad-libbing? Both, maybe? Yeah, probably both.

 

The only way to recover from this situation was to actually give her a superpower and forcibly go down the “A miracle has occurred! You really did have an affinity for a superpower!” route.

 

However, Mikyou-chan, who refused to come out from her room, had pulled out an old doll and was repeatedly stabbing it in a frenzy, muttering lines like “DIE! Everyone should die!” as if casting a hex. When she wasn’t doing that, she was just plain crying.

I sympathized with her and felt very bad for what had happened, but giving a superpower to a girl like this was just asking for a massacre to happen. We were not a secret organization that actively created darkness in the world.

 

Everyone in Amaterasu tried to do something to help Mikyou-chan, who was now in a worse state than she had been before the put-up job.

 

First was Shige-jii, who visited everyday with flower bouquets, snacks, toys, and manga in hand. Because Mikyou-chan was refusing all visitors, he was turned back every time at reception, but the nurses would at least pass the gifts along after he left. As soon as they reached her, however, she would just kick them straight into a box. I watched as it happened every time — this whole process became pretty much like clockwork.

 

Touka-chan wanted to apologize in person for overlooking the lie and letting it happen, but Shige-jii and Shouta-kun desperately convinced her otherwise.

At this point in time, if an unrelated stranger showed up to say “Hey, sorry, I knew about everything but I kept silent,” Mikyou-chan would definitely blow up.

When Touka-chan still insisted on going, saying that she still wanted to start the relationship afresh and was ready to suffer the yelling if that’s what it would take, the two told her that youkai2 appeared in the hospital to deter her using fear.

If she went during the day, she would be turned back by the nurses. If she tried to sneak in during the night, she would bump into youkai. Whereas she would not hesitate to charge at a ghost and forcibly help it rest in peace, youkai was another matter altogether. After all, unlike World Shadows and ghosts, youkai were “alive,” which meant she could not hurt them in defiance of her no-killing policy.

One might think her weird for being honestly scared of youkai despite already being a high schooler, but this was very likely because of her familiarity with superpowers, the representative of everything occult. If superpowers existed, then it only made sense for youkai to also exist (though they actually don’t).

In any case, we wanted Touka-chan to just stay put. We didn’t need her complicating things even more.

 

Shouta-kun also seemed to be working out some sort of “Mikyou-chan salvation plan” with Kuma-san out of a sense of responsibility, but I straightaway activated the “Help, Kaburagi-san!” card, my go-to strategy whenever I got into trouble.

Kaburagi-san will be able to do something about it for sure!

 

When I visited her at her magic castle, I found her wearing a spectacular purple dress with a large bosom, playing at being a thousand-year-old archwitch. After listening to my account, she gave me a “Oh, you hopeless child” look and told me to give her a day to come up with a solution.

Apparently even Kaburagi-san couldn’t immediately come up with something to salvage a put-up job that she herself had no part in planning. Conversely, you could also say that she only needed a single day to go from knowing almost nothing about the situation to devising a (probably perfect) proposal. Kaburagi-san really is cut from a different cloth from the rest of us.

So I decided to wait till the next day, relieved that everything was going to be okay.

 

But the night after I consulted Kaburagi-san, the situation spiralled out of my control once again.

 

◇ ◇ ◇

 

I wasn’t constantly monitoring Mikyou-chan, but I was checking up on her once every few hours using telekinetic clairvoyance. If she drove herself too far into a corner and committed suicide, my conscience would absolutely torment me.

This night, after I confirmed that she was fast asleep — after having cried herself out — I shifted focus to watching her dad in an online conference with professional mental care specialists. Halfway through, I suddenly noticed Touka-chan crouching and sneaking past the door to the director’s room.

 

Oi!

What the hell?!

Weren’t you afraid of the youkai?!

Why’re you here, sneaking around?!

 

No, no, hold on. In order to reach Mikyou-chan’s special ward, Touka-chan would have to pass by in front of the reception desk where there were nurses on night shift. The area is brightly lit with nowhere to hide. Touka-chan does not have the power to become invisible or teleport. She will definitely be spotted.

 

Despite it being a hot, sultry night, Touka-chan was wearing long sleeves and jeans for some reason. If she was caught attempting to enter the premises in this outfit, she would be apprehended without doubt.

Whew, nothing to worry about then.

Touka-chan, I know you had probably brooded over this for a long time and concluded that you still wanted to meet Mikyou-chan in person, but I really can do without your intervention at the moment. Once tomorrow rolls around, Kaburagi-san will have her perfect solution and everything will be resolved.

 

I was still in the middle of my thoughts when I noticed Touka-chan slipping into the female changing room located right before the special ward. She generated a small floating ball of fire to secure a source of light, then picked out a nurse uniform her size from the shelf and began taking off her sweat-drenched T-shirt. Probably due to Kaburagi-san’s influence, her mannerisms were strangely sexy.

It was a high school girl’s erotic changing scene out of nowhere.

 

I had promised Kaburagi-san long ago to not use my clairvoyance to watch girls changing. I quickly zoomed out my view and suddenly noticed Shige-jii, who was just about to infiltrate the hospital, and Shouta-kun, who was already inside the building.

 

Oi!

Seriously, WHY?!

I TOLD you guys to stay put!

 

Shige-jii used his power to store an emergency exit door, walked through the empty doorframe, then released the door back in its original location. I found myself slightly impressed at the skillful application of his power, but this was no time to be impressed!

Why today of all days? Why all three of them at once?! Did they plan this out together? No, it doesn’t look like it. So what, this is a complete coincidence? Goddammit, couldn’t they have waited until tomorrow, when Kaburagi-san’s solution would be ready?!

 

I, I, I did try to stop them!

The situation was already complicated enough. That was why I had told all of them to not do anything to worsen it any further. No, wait, I guess it’s because I told them to not do anything that they ended up deciding to do their own thing. Shit!

 

Calm down. I’ve got to chase all three of them away. As long as I manage to get through this night without anything happening, Kaburagi-san will resolve everything.

Take it easy. I can do this. I got this. Let’s take care of them one by one.

 

First is… Shouta-kun because he’s currently the closest to the special ward.

I used telekinesis to reproduce the sound of human footsteps approaching from the other end of the corridor that Shouta-kun was in. He started backing up quietly in a fluster and scrambled around for a place to hide. However, there were no hiding spots, so he started trying each door to see if it would open. That’s right. Keep going until you get back outsi—

 

Everything was already too late when the thought “I fucked up” flashed through my mind.

Shouta-kun had been chased until he was in front of a female changing room.

The door to the female changing room was unlocked.

This was the same female changing room where Touka-chan was currently changing.

In his hurry, Shouta-kun had failed to see the nameplate on the door that said “Female Changing Room.”

 

What is this, even.

What is this timing?

I know I was the one who chased him and practically arranged this situation but WHAT. THE. FUCK!

Is this a romantic comedy?

Are you a lucky pervert?!

 

Shouta-kun threw the door open and rolled into the female changing room. That just happened to be the exact moment when Touka-chan had taken off her sweat-drenched underwear, the last article of clothing she had on. The two’s eyes met. And I, in chasing Shouta-kun with my clairvoyance, also ended up with an eyeful of a high school girl in her birthday suit.

 

“Eh? Shouta?”

“Huh?”

 

When I saw the two of them staring at each other, I erupted in laughter.

To be more specific, I was laughing at the sight of Touka-chan.

And how could I not? Every inch of her body, from the neck down, was entirely covered with sutras.

 

So THAT was why?!

Here I was wondering how she managed to come to the hospital despite her fear of youkai!

So she thought she would be fine if she simply protected herself with Buddhist scriptures!

Which reminds me, she did mention something of the sort before. This sounds exactly like the kind of thing she’d come up with!

 

I was practically rolling on the floor with laughter, but Shouta-kun could not be more turned off.

 

“Did you also come to see Mikyou-chan, Shouta?”

“I, uhhh… What?”

 

Shouta-kun was completely staring at Touka-chan’s totally not erotic naked body and she was looking back, entirely unfazed.

In fact, she’d shown no signs of being embarrassed throughout this whole encounter. Can’t you at least act a little embarrassed? You’re putting way too much stock in the sutras.

Though admittedly, these sutras were extremely effective at dispelling worldly desires. So much so, in fact, that blood was draining from our faces instead of rising to our heads even though we were staring at a cute girl’s naked body.

 

“Hold on, what if I do this…”

 

Shouta-kun brought up a hand to try to hide all the sutras from sight, but then the only thing left visible was her head.

 

“Yeah, this is not fappable. Seriously, all hail Amitabha Buddha.”

 

His voice was that of someone who had achieved spiritual enlightenment.

Even Shouta-kun, who possessed several gravure magazines that featured actresses that looked similar to Touka-chan, found he could not get aroused in the face of this all-powerful sutra barrier.

Sutras are incredible. I never knew they could be this effective.

 

Shouta-kun lowered his voice to a whisper.

 

“Seriously, what are you doing? Master said to stay put and not do anything, right?”

“I can’t wait any longer. Kaburagi-san said that after someone experiences something terrible, they need to be given psychological help as soon as possible or else it could traumatize them for life.”

 

Touka-chan had resumed putting on her nurse uniform while replying.

 

It was true that Kaburagi-san did say that.

I see, so that’s why they all took action even though I told them not to. Because all of them were doing everything they could the fastest they could, all their plans ended up overlapping on the same day. Now it makes sense. Even I went to Kaburagi-san today.

Though if you’re doing it, couldn’t you guys have cooperated better? Is our teamwork in Amaterasu that bad? …Then again, they do work together pretty well during battle.

 

From the conversation that ensued, I learned that all three people had indeed been making plans separately. Touka-chan’s plan was to disguise herself in a nurse uniform and try to pass as Mikyou-chan’s attendant nurse, Ooishi-san.

It was true that the two were of a similar height and had the same hairstyle. If Touka-chan simply kept her head down so that her face wasn’t visible, there was actually a pretty good chance she might have been able to just pass through without getting caught.

Shouta-kun’s plan was to fake kidnap Mikyou-chan and let her see the sight of her father desperately trying to save her, hoping that this would change her heart. However, the fact that he had to pass by the nurse station had completely slipped his mind.

 

Touka-chan pointed out the hole in Shouta-kun’s plan and, by making him see that a kidnapping would be going too far, convinced him to go home. The way he got in was by locking himself inside a stall in a guys’ toilet and waiting until night time, so he left by climbing out the window from the same toilet.

What was the point of you coming, then? Now it seems like you sneaked in just for the lucky pervert moment.

 

Now, while the two high schoolers were having their straight man comedy act, Shige-jii had continued making progress.

I found Touka-chan’s sutra reveal so hilarious that I already felt kind of done for the night. That was, until I found Shige-jii and Mikyou-chan already in the middle of a pretty serious scene.

 

I wasn’t sure what had happened because I was busy watching the high school duo, but the old man and the little girl were on the rooftop of the special ward building, facing each other from two meters apart.

 

Mikyou-chan had climbed on top of the fence, her medium length black hair blowing in the wind. She shouted, “Stay away! Or I’m gonna jump!” while quivering violently.

 

Shige-jii had also climbed on top of the fence, his white hair flapping in the wind. He shouted back,  “Return to your room! Or I’m going to jump!” while quivering with equal intensity.

 

What is this, a game of chicken? I feel like I’ve gotten a whole year’s worth of laughs from tonight alone. In fact, it’s so much I think my abs are going to cramp.

No, no, I mean, I get that all of them are entirely serious. However, even though I know I’m not supposed to laugh, I can’t help actually laughing. You know what, I give up pinning my hopes for a peaceful resolution on Kaburagi-san’s plan tomorrow. All I’m feeling now is regret that I hadn’t prepared my video recording equipment.

 

“You’re just saying that to trick me again! I’m sick of it! Leave me alone!”

“I admit I was in the wrong for deceiving you. I have no excuse. I’ll apologize — I’ll apologize as many times as you want! So don’t be hasty! Easy does it — slowly get off the fence! You still have a future ahead of you, Hinokage-kun!”

“I have no future! I don’t need your empty platitudes! Go away! Or I’ll jump!”

“Don’t you dare jump! Or else I’ll jump!”

 

I couldn’t tell if they were trying to persuade each other or instigate each other in this weird quarrel that they were both wearing their voices out for.

Just letting them continue would have been amusing too, but I was an impatient person. Let’s proceed with the story.

 

Hinokage Mikyou, your favorite phrase is “humanity should die.”

Although he is old and wrinkled, Shige-jii is a member of humanity.

Although he is a big fat liar, he is also a kind grandpa, and I’m sure you know this.

At the same time, he is also an esper.

That’s enough secret maneuvering and playing games. Let’s do this simply.

When Shige-jii is about to die, how will you, an ordinary person with no powers and no weapons, react?

I will evaluate you one last time based on your answer.

 

Go on. Jump.

 

I used telekinesis to generate a gust of wind that blew Shige-jii off-balance. With a face painted in surprise, he fell off the fence.

 

“AHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

The moment Mikyou-chan saw Shige-jii lose his balance, she emitted a scream that pierced the night sky then leaped after him.

 

Her movement was desperate, almost instinctive.

There wasn’t even the slightest hesitation to consider the fact that she herself would also be falling.

In truth, her own body had also left the fence and she was entering free fall together with the old man.

 

Hey hey hey hey!

Good going, Mikyou-chan!

 

That’s right. I’d forgotten.

Thinking about it again, although Mikyou-chan repeatedly said worrying things like “humanity should die” and “I’ll kill everyone,” she had never actually hurt anyone. Although she handled her presents very roughly, she never actually threw them away. And now that this old man that she was, in spite of everything, close with was in danger, she is ready to put her own life on the line to save him.

All the talk of destroying and killing was only empty talk. In a good way.

Riiiight, this is just how middle schoolers are. I’d totally forgotten. They would talk about killing and hurting people like it was nothing, but there weren’t all that many that actually meant it.

 

Mikyou-chan had who she was at heart with her actions in a way that was worth more than a thousand words.

This was a million times better than those who repeatedly talked about saving and helping people but ended up running away when it counted most.

 

Very well.

And I owe you an apology.

Hinokage Mikyou, you have been found worthy of Amaterasu.

 

I used telekinesis to catch the two falling figures who were hugging each other tightly and pulled them back onto the roof.

Shige-jii had fainted with his eyes rolled up into his head, whereas Mikyou-chan was crying her eyes out and raining childish punches on his chest. Without ado, I transplanted a telekimuscle fragment onto her mind.

There was no hesitation in me anymore. A miracle that no one had expected had occurred, allowing Hinokage Mikyou, who did not previously have an affinity for superpowers, to Awaken a superpower. Miracles do happen. I make them happen.

 

Touka-chan, who had heard the commotion and rushed to the roof, had witnessed everything from the moment the two had leaped off. She looked off into empty air and murmured somewhat reproachfully, “Were you watching this whole time, Master?”

Indeed.

The Master of the secret organization Amaterasu is always watching over all of you.

 

Touka-chan kneeled next to Mikyou-chan and hugged her tight, allowing herself to be subjected to the same punches, apologizing profusely, and praising the little girl again and again. It was true that Mikyou-chan’s actions were commendable. At the very least, if I didn’t have my telekinesis and found myself in the same situation she was in, I honestly don’t think I would have been able to make myself jump off to help Shige-jii.

I take my hat off to you, little sickly girl.

 

And the story seems to be ending on a good note, but even now, Touka-chan’s covered in sutra body paint underneath that nurse uniform, right? Her merit is so high she’s bordering on being a deviant.

Although our secret organization might seem quite cool at first glance, a closer look would reveal us to be nothing more than a gathering of weirdos.

I found myself already worrying whether Mikyou-chan would be able to fit in or not.

Good luck, Mikyou-chan!

Hey there, thanks for reading!
If you’re enjoying the series, please consider buying Volumes 1 and 2 in Japanese and English to support Kurodome-sensei and me!
All details in the Table of Contents page.
Footnotes

1The Coming of Age Ceremony (seijinshiki) is an annual Japanese holiday for congratulating those who have reached or will reach the age of maturity (20 years old) between April 2 of the previous year and April 1 of the current year.

2Youkai: supernatural monsters in Japanese folklore

15 Comments

  1. Kiro

    Happy endings are wonderful!

    Reply
  2. sense-san

    Thank goodness this is Japan and their aversion to tatoos is apparent because anyone else can still fap to her.

    Reply
    • Mr_Pallas

      I for one would not fap to someone who has the equivalent of bible verses written across every millimetre of their skin, it would be weird as hell.

      Reply
    • Initial D

      anyone will not fap if you see your own religious bible you believe.

      Reply
  3. bladerain

    An organization of weirdoes… Pfft.

    Reply
  4. jasad

    thx for the new chapter

    Reply
  5. Amithaba Forever

    Sutra body is indeed powerful.

    Reply
  6. Carlos Gameros

    was it 6 weeks?? wow, I feel like it was the half of it.

    Anyway, it was an amazing chapter. It had all! it was a shame that the plan of Kaburagi went was in vain, but Amaterasu indepdendet actions were super funny!
    I wonder what kind of super power Mikyu will have

    Reply
  7. tl;dr

    More like bunch of manchilds organization

    Reply
  8. dee2

    Thanks for the chapter ^^
    And don’t worry about the schedule. Every chapter we get is a chapter we are grateful for ^^

    Reply
    • Taishi

      Thank you so much for the words of support 🙏

      Reply
  9. Paul 0

    I’m so hyped this is back.

    Reply
  10. Jekyll

    Thank you for the chapter! Im so glad that there was a (hopefully) happy ending!

    Reply
  11. Whap

    Thanks forthe chapter!

    I just have one question.

    What nurse uniform would require her to get completely nude? I don’t think they would have special nurse underwear.

    Although the forced plot device was obvious, at least it was funny.

    Reply
    • Taishi

      That is a good question XDDDDD

      Reply

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